1. Are we thinking about having sex because we BOTH want to? If only one person wants to have sex, and the other does not, it is NOT time to have sex.

Yes     No     Not Sure

2. Have we talked about how sex may change our relationship?

Yes     No     Not Sure

3. If either of us has had sex before, have we been tested for STD's in the last 6 months? It is important to be tested BEFORE having sex!

Yes     No     Not Sure

4. Have WE decided what kind of birth control to use if we don't want to get pregnant? It takes 2 people to get pregnant, so it takes 2 people to prevent pregnancy!

Yes     No     Not Sure

5. What birth control will we use?

6. Where will we get our birth control?

7. Where can we have sex that is private?

If you answered “NOT SURE” or “NO” to most of these questions, or if you don't have answers for the rest of the questions, you may not be ready to have sex. Think this over carefully!

The post Are WE Ready to Have Sex? appeared first on We Care A Lot Foundation.

1. Do I know how to have “Safe Sex”?

Yes     No     Not Sure

2. Do I know what my sexual rights are?

Yes     No     Not Sure

3. Do I know what my sexual responsibilities are?

Yes     No     Not Sure

4. Do I know how a woman can get pregnant?

Yes     No     Not Sure

5. Have I thought carefully about what may happen if I DO have sex?

Yes     No     Not Sure

6. Do I have a partner that treats me with respect?

Yes     No     Not Sure

If you answered “NOT SURE” or “NO” to most of these questions, you may not be ready to have sex.

Next week we'll post questions for you to answer with your sweetheart!

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A is for Abstinence (ab-stuh-nens) which means NOT having sex. This is the ONLY way to keep yourself 100% protected from an STD.

B is for Be Faithful. Have one partner for a long time and be faithful to them. This is the next best way to protect yourself from an STD.

C is for condom. If you are going to have sex with another person, use a condom every time. It's not as safe as Abstinence or to Be Faithful, but it is MUCH better than unprotected sex.

The post The ABC's of Stopping STD! appeared first on We Care A Lot Foundation.

Privacy– No sex by yourself or with anyone else without privacy! Having privacy means you have a closed and locked door, where no one can SEE or HEAR you.

Permission– No sex with anyone who does NOT agree or is UNABLE to agree. Both people HAVE to say yes!

Protection– No sex without trying to protect yourself by using condoms and plastic barriers. This may keep you from getting an STD, or sexually transmitted disease. Condoms may also keep you from getting pregnant.

Person 18 or older– No sex with anyone who is 17 years or younger, children or teenagers. Even if they say yes, it still against the law!

If you follow The Four P's while having a sexual relationship, you will be LEGAL and SAFE.

The post The Four P's- Or Your Sexual Responsibilities appeared first on We Care A Lot Foundation.

1. What are my dating boundaries? How far in our relationship will I have to be until I am OK with kissing? Making out? Having sex?

2. What will I do if my partner wants to have sex, but I don't?

3. How do I feel about waiting for a partner that respects and cares about me before I have sex?

4. What do I think about sex with myself instead of with a partner?

5. Why do I want to have sex?

6. How will I protect myself from getting an STD?

7. What will I do if I get an STD?

8. What kind of birth control will I use with my partner?

9. What will I do if WE get pregnant?

10. What questions do I have about sex that I need answered?

The post Thinking About Having Sex? appeared first on We Care A Lot Foundation.

So, our brains are wired to want to have sex and that is one part of our sexuality.  Beyond that though, is where humans get complicated.  Our sexuality has evolved to include so many parts of who we are.  Some parts stay with us a lifetime, other parts are dynamic and change.

• Being male or female or however you define your gender;
• How you view sexual orientation (being attracted to men, women, or both);
• What kind of relationship you have- or don't have- with different people;
• How the body changes from infancy to old age;
• Personal views on sex and romantic relationships.

Each person's sexuality is unique to them because it is a result of the experiences and lessons they have had which may include wha

t their parents and family taught them, as well as what they have learned from friends, society, T.V. and movies.  Those experiences and lessons also help guide us into real relationships, i.e. relationships that are based on reciprocity.  Both people have a need for, and true respect for, each other .

That base need to be close to others is another base need, one we share with many other animals.  Elephants are known for forming strong bonds with others in their herd.  They even mourn a friend's passing by standing at their side, making soft noises and running their trunk gently over their friend's body.  Isn't that a beautiful expression of caring?  That need to have close and loving relationships of some kind is present in all of us, even if  how each of us shows that need is different.

People with developmental disabilities are human.  Therefore, sexuality and the need to be close to others is present in each of them in their individual way.  But.  For anyone to say that “they” do not (or should not) think about sex, or do not (or should not) have the desire for real relationships, is to deny that person their humanity.  To deny someone's humanity can lead to disrespect, a denial of rights, cruelty and even abuse.

I think we can all agree that is a world no one should live in.

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The Respect Yourself program was started in 2005 as a way to educate people with Far Northern Regional Center about sexual abuse prevention.  People with disabilities are abused more than anyone else.  More than the general population.  More than women.  More than the elderly.  Sexual abuse is especially common, with many cases never being reported to the police.  It is commonly believed that upwards of 80% of all women with developmental disabilities are sexually abused in their lifetime, and 50% of all men.  The Respect Yourself program believes that when people take our series, their risk of sexual abuse will go down.  How?  By learning what is private, how to set boundaries with everyone from a date to staff, the difference between relationships we may have, what abuse actually is, and what makes a good and healthy relationship.  If someone is victimized after taking our series, they will still learn valuable information such as understanding how they were abused, knowing who to report it to, and what to do if the people around you do not take action.

The Respect Yourself series is also designed to teach people about their body, how self-esteem effects our relationships, and personal boundaries.  Our goal is to not only give people important information such as body part names, what they are for, and self-screening for cancer, bu

t to also teach participants that their body is their OWN and no one has a right to hurt them.  We teach people what is normal and right, so that they can tell when something is not normal or right.

Now for what the Respect Yourself program is NOT.  It is not a “how-to” on having sex.  We do not encourage people to have sex.  We do not teach people about sex so that they can then go out and do it.  The fact is most people who participate in our classes have already made up their mind about having sex before stepping foot in the classroom.  We do not teach morals; we only give fact-based information that allows participants to make safe and healthy choices that work for THEM.  For example: abstinence, or not having sex, is the safest way to protect yourself from getting an STD or a baby.  However, IF you choose to have sex, it is best to be in a monogamous relationship and use condoms with a backup method of birth control.

People with developmental disabilities are the same as anyone else.  Who doesn't want close and personal relationships?  Who doesn't want to find someone special that makes your heart race?  Who doesn't want love and respect in all of their relationships?  The Respect Yourself series is a way for people to learn what choices they have in adult relationships, so that they can make educated decisions on creating the healthy and safe adult lifestyle of their choosing.

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