Sexuality is often confused with the acts around having sex or intercourse itself. Not always so! Sexuality is a natural part of being human for everyone, part of our “animal” side if you will. Animals have the instinct to breed. If they did not, their species would die out. Humans are no different on that base level- if we didn't have the desire to have sex, I wouldn't be writing this blog right now. The difference in humans from other animals however, is how our brains have developed to go beyond just the physical need and act of sexual propagation. In other words, it's not just about sex and making babies anymore!
So, our brains are wired to want to have sex and that is one part of our sexuality. Beyond that though, is where humans get complicated. Our sexuality has evolved to include so many parts of who we are. Some parts stay with us a lifetime, other parts are dynamic and change.
- Being male or female or however you define your gender;
- How you view sexual orientation (being attracted to men, women, or both);
- What kind of relationship you have- or don't have- with different people;
- How the body changes from infancy to old age;
- Personal views on sex and romantic relationships.
Each person's sexuality is unique to them because it is a result of the experiences and lessons they have had which may include wha
t their parents and family taught them, as well as what they have learned from friends, society, T.V. and movies. Those experiences and lessons also help guide us into real relationships, i.e. relationships that are based on reciprocity. Both people have a need for, and true respect for, each other .
That base need to be close to others is another base need, one we share with many other animals. Elephants are known for forming strong bonds with others in their herd. They even mourn a friend's passing by standing at their side, making soft noises and running their trunk gently over their friend's body. Isn't that a beautiful expression of caring? That need to have close and loving relationships of some kind is present in all of us, even if how each of us shows that need is different.
People with developmental disabilities are human. Therefore, sexuality and the need to be close to others is present in each of them in their individual way. But. For anyone to say that “they” do not (or should not) think about sex, or do not (or should not) have the desire for real relationships, is to deny that person their humanity. To deny someone's humanity can lead to disrespect, a denial of rights, cruelty and even abuse.
I think we can all agree that is a world no one should live in.
