Ever stop to think about what you want in a friend? Some people seem to have hundreds of friends, while others have only a few. Yet those few are lifelong friends. What do you want in a friendship? Some people like being popular because of who they become friends with, and others become friends with people who share similar interests. Some are friends because they like playing sports, some like reading and have friends in book clubs, some have friends who enjoy going dancing, camping, canoeing, hang-gliding, and so on. Friends share similar interests. I like being challenged in a safe and encouraging environment, which is what me brought me together with my hubby a
s well as two good friends I met up here. We all want to grow and change t0 become the persons we were created to be, and when the stretching becomes unbearable, we encourage each other. We also share other interests, ie., besides growing as a person, one friend likes eating healthy, hiking, playing games, swapping God-stories, and enjoying people. The more we spend time together, the more we laugh at how similar we are. The other friend has a dry sense of humor, and we can get each other laughing even on days when the stretching is tough, which lightens it a bit. I don't have a lot of friends, but the handful I have are amazing. What do you want in a friendship?
hi i didn’t like the me and you presentation last month. my staff are my friends.
I was at that presentation too. They didn’t say it was impossible to be friends with people who are you staff. The point was that being your staff doesn’t automatically make them your friends. But if you truly share the same interests and hang out when they are off the clock (thus not being paid for the time they are spending with you), then that is a possibility. The goal of mentioning staff not being friends was to help be people develop healthy relationships. Friends are not paid to be with you.
I realize you think very highly of your staff. They are probably all awesome. But not everyone has such awesome staff. People with disabilities are the most abused population and the majority of the abuse is by staff. Therefore it is important that we recognize the difference between true friends and those paid to be in our lives.
I worked in a care home for years. I cared very much for every one of the residents. I often worked 16 or 17 hour shifts several days in a row. In fact, I spent more time with them than my own family. But I was paid to be there. Yes, I adored them, we had a lot of fun together. We experienced tragedies together (the death of a resident, etc). I would never abuse them or hurt them in anyway. BUT if I allowed the idea that staff are their friends, that would only set them up to be abused or taken advantage of by staff that would eventually work with them. What kind of friend would that really make me then? A friend wouldn’t set them up to be hurt, neither would good staff.
There are many people that are paid to be in our lives. My doctor, my chiropractor, my colleagues they are all paid for their time with me. I think they are all absolutely wonderful. But I am not the one they call when they have a day off and want to go see a movie, or to cry to at three in the morning when upset about something. We get along, we like each other, but we are nor friends. I love that the girls at the MAC counter at Macy’s always remember my name, they even sometimes ask about my family and I ask about theirs. But we are not friends. There is a big difference between enjoying someones company, even truly caring about them and being a true friend.
Simply put- while on the clock- staff is staff. Spending time while not being paid that is to be determined on an individual basis.